Self Introduction Letter
Subject: Self Introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Chin Yue Feng, I am writing this to introduce myself as a student in your communication module.
I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a degree in Environmental and Water Technology from the School of Life Sciences. Originally I planned to start working once I finished my national service, but my friends and family convinced my it would be better to try to get into university and study before going out to work. I chose to study a civil engineering degree as it would broaden my job options when I graduate.
My strength in communication is listening to what the other parties are saying. I tend to be very quite and prefer to listen to what others say. When others talk, I can remember what they say clearly although I do not talk much. This has led to many awkward taxi rides where the driver talks about random things in their life. I am able to speak comfortably to people my age, but for people who are older than me, I tend to take a more polite tone. This can be awkward at times as the other party is trying to be friendly but I can only speak in a polite manner instead of a friendly manner. Another weakness I have is giving presentations. For the first few minutes I am able to speak properly but after a while, I tend to get nervous and forget my words. I am also unable to maintain eye contact with the audience for as I tend to shift my eyes towards the screen to look for information once I forget my words.
I hope that through this module, I would be able to improve on my weaknesses by being more comfortable speaking to others.
Best regards,
Chin Yue Feng
Dear Yue Feng,
ReplyDeleteI have gotten to know you better through the letter.
However there are some points you could better elaborate on.
1) Elaborating on what type of job options you are looking for?
2) What's your interest in engineering?
3) Your communication skills went from eye contact/listening to other parties became speaking comfortably to others. You could remove speaking comfortability and be more clear about eye contact/listening examples.
4) Could you tell me what differentiates you from others?
Hope you have a wonderful weekend and I see you next week.
Best Regards,
Lim Jun Cen
Dear Yue feng,
ReplyDeleteYour letter is clear and concised and I like that you go straight to the point and kept your intorduction short and sweet. However, I feel that you could have been more clear in elaborating your strengths and weaknesses eventhough you have incorporate them together and added a second weakness as well.
I would also like to know more about how you differentiate yourself from others as well and hope that you would be sharing that in the future for your readers to know you better as well which is one of the points that Jun Cen has mentioned above as well. See you around in class and I hope to learn from you as well.
Best Regards,
Thomas Ong
Dear Yue Feng,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your fairly clear and concise letter. Reading it I'm able to know a bit about you. For one thing, it's interesting to see how you take such care in speaking to others when they come from different age groups.
In terms of addressing the areas where you see comm skills weaknesses, we will certainly work on you having ooportunities to speak more. My advice for you is to simply step out of your comfort zone more often and engage in speaking as much as possible.
Other areas to take note of, in terms of this letter, are as follows:
1. use of caps
-- I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a degree in Environmental and Water Technology from the school of life sciences. > I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a degree in Environmental and Water Technology from the School of Life Sciences.
2. verb issues
-- My communication skills is being .... > (subject-verb disagreement) ?
3. phrasing issue
-- My communication skills is being .... > My strength in communication is....
Best wishes,
Brad